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Donald Trump’s monster shot

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Just in time for World Autism Awareness Day, but too late for April Fools Day, Donald Trump tells us what he knows about vaccines and autism.

Speaking by telephone from his underground hair bunker, Donald Trump told the Fox and Friends couch potatoes this morning:

“I have a theory, and it’s a theory that some people believe in and that’s the vaccinations…When you take a little baby that weighs like 12 pounds into a doctor’s office, and they pump them with many, many simultaneous vaccinations, and I’m all for vaccinations, but when you add all these vaccinations together, and then two months later the baby is so different, and I’ve known cases. I knew a case, a two year old child, went for the vaccination the child was fine, a month later the parent was up in arms, didn’t know what was going on because the baby had just lost it.”

But most physicians say vaccines don’t cause autism, said Fox Friend number two. What say you, Donald?

“It’s very controversial to even say, but I couldn’t care less,” said the man who says Barack Obama is a Kenya national. “It happened to somebody that worked for me recently. They had this beautiful child, not a problem in the world, and all of a sudden they go in, they get this monster shot. Did you ever see the size of it? It’s like they’re pumping in, you know, it’s terrible, the amount, and they pump it into this little body, and then all of a sudden the child is different a month later.”

 

Trump prefaced his remarks by reminding America that he is great friends with Bob and Suzanne Wright, the couple who founded Autism Speaks in 2005. When the Donald held a fundraiser for Autism Speaks in December, 2007, he told a reporter that vaccines cause autism.

“When I was growing up, autism wasn’t really a factor,” he said. “And now all of a sudden, it’s an epidemic. Everybody has their theory, and my theory is the shots. They’re getting these massive injections at one time. I think it’s the vaccinations.”

The man is beyond parody.

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